lesser celandine + existential despair
one bright lesser celandine flower
It's a familiar spring occurrence: one day, out of the murky grays and browns of mud and detritus, cheerful yellow flowers pop up.
In the nanosecond after seeing them, my heart breaks open into a wide grin: these flowers are yellow, after all, and it's delightful to see bright yellow flowers after the muted tones of winter.
But then, once I register what these flowers are, the despair sets in. I remember that Lesser Celandine is one of the most invasive plants in the area.
In the springtime, Lesser Celandine takes up precious real estate where the spring ephemerals should be. The spring ephemerals, a special group of delicate forest plants that live their whole life cycle in spring, have relationships with insects and are a necessary part of the local ecosystem. The Lesser Celandine has no such relationships: it simply takes up space.
Everywhere that Lesser Celandine is growing there is no space for Dutchman's Breeches, Spring Beauties, Bloodroot, and so many other precious plants.
Lesser Celandine is so hard to weed out: the plant spreads by tiny nutlets below ground. The patches grow larger every year, and the populations of spring ephemerals diminish.
And yet, at each burst of yellow my heart lifts for just a second.
The flowers are so pretty, the color so welcome after winter.
And then comes the despair, and my utter helplessness to do anything about the spreading of this plant.
I conflicted: I want to enjoy the pretty color because it's there, in front of me. But the presence of this plant makes me feel sad and helpless.
This inner conflict is common these days -- you just want to enjoy something, but then you reflect on all the ramifications of that thing, and you spiral into despair. Or you witness a situation that is chronically devastating, with no resolution in sight, no hope for improvement. You sink into despair.
There are many reasons to feel despair right now. I don't need to list them -- I'm sure you cycle through stressing about them throughout your day.
Personally, I feel despair quite often. It's something I'm always working through, always figuring out how to live with. It weighs heavily on me, and I've had to develop strategies for coping.
Because I've developed many strategies for coping with existential despair, because herbs are involved in those strategies, and because I know I'm not the only person who struggles with this, I'm teaching a class called Herbs for Existential Despair.
In this class I'll share all my best strategies for pulling yourself out of the despair quagmire. I'll also share herbal medicine + magic that can help you accept your own existence and reconnect with the purpose and joys of living.
Herbs for Existential Despair will be taught live (and recorded) on Tuesday, April 4th. It's part of Herbs for Living, a 12-month course that teaches you to use herbs for things you actually experience in life, like setting boundaries and throwing parties. When you join Herbs for Living you get access to a bunch of great classes + bonuses. It's $39/month.
Note: Lesser celandine (Ficaria verna) is not related to Greater Celandine (Chelidonium majus) and thus does not have the same medicinal properties. Lesser celandine is toxic unless prepared properly.
yours in Dutchman's Breeches,
Amanda
P.S. Here's my first tip for managing existential despair:
DON'T READ: The Overstory. Seriously, if you care about trees this book will mess with your mental health for weeks. The lovely prose isn't worth it.
DO READ: Bittersweet, Braiding Sweetgrass, Mirrors in the Earth, Illusions.
Do you have a beloved book that helps you through despair? Please let me know!
Also, join me for this class!