herbs for grieving
When someone you love is grieving, it can be hard to know what to do.
You know that words, while important, can only go so far. Everyone else is sending food — they’ve got plenty of that. Or maybe you live too far to send food, or food doesn’t feel fitting (when someone loses a beloved pet, do you send a casserole?)
Or maybe there are times when you’re grieving, but you’re grieving something so subtle and personal that you’re not reaching out for help; nonetheless, your heart feels flayed open and you’re exhausted from the sadness.
How do you support yourself? How do you support your friend?
Next week, I'm teaching a class called Herbs for Grieving. It's just one class, a 2- hour deep dive into working with herbs to support yourself or a loved one who is experiencing grief.
I decided to teach this class because, over the years, I've realized that having herbs on hand to offer someone who's grieving feels way better than not knowing what to do.
As an herbalist, I do have something to offer. It feels strange to say that I have "go-to grief recipes," but, well, I do. I've made concoctions for people who are tuned into plant magic as well as people who would never consider drinking herbal tea (yes, these people exist. I bet you might even know & love one of them.)
I'm not a therapist, nor do I claim to be an "expert" on grieving in any way. I'm just an herbalist who has sent many care packages to people I love, and who has used herbs to support myself when I'm distraught.
I care about this topic because we all need support, from each other and from plants. We need to know how to show up for each other when life gets tough. We need to be prepared with tools already in our baskets, herbs in our cabinets, ready to go when the moment arises.
Here are scenarios this class will prepare you for:
> Less socially acknowledged losses. The loss of a beloved cat or dog. A divorce. Pregnancy loss. Getting fired. When a friend goes through one of these, you want to support them, but we don't have a cultural framework in place. Do you send a card? Flowers? What do you do?
> Extremely tragic losses. I won't list them here -- you know what they are. These losses feel so big, you don't even know how to approach them. You want to do something, but you know that any gesture will fall short of the enormity of the loss.
> Personal grief. When you're working through something, and it's exhausting. When your heart feels flayed open, and you're despairing. When you're grieving something from your past that's ultimately good but so hard in the moment. When you're grieving the loss of an identity. You just need to move through it, but it's exhausting, and you'd really appreciate some help.
Details
> This class will be held live via Zoom on Wednesday, Nov. 17th from 1:00-3:00pm EST.
> YES! It will be recorded, and the recording will be available indefinitely in the virtual classroom.
> $40
You will learn:
herbs for emotional & spiritual support
herbs to physically support the body during grieving
a variety of herbal preparations — because not everyone drinks herbal tea or will take a tincture
Preparations will include: Tea blends, Flower Essence blends, Facial Sprays, Facial Steams, Bath Blends, Tinctures, Elixirs, and other miscellany.
You will get:
an “Herbs for Grieving” recipe book
a list of what items to keep in your apothecary
a handout of everything we discuss in class
a bonus list of advice for writing or speaking to someone who’s experienced a loss (i.e. what to write in the card)
Grief is a process. It's not something to be healed, or moved through quickly. It's something to be inhabited, to be felt.
These herbal allies are not meant to "alleviate" grief or remove it: they're here to bolster our courage and give nourishment, and physical comfort as we inhabit this space.