Looking through a seed catalog in January
Looking through a seed catalog in January
It's time to order seeds for next year.
I open the catalog, paging through.
Just seven years ago, you were all new to me.
I didn't know what type of soil you grew in, how deep your roots stretched, the shape of your arms.
I didn't know if I should pick leaves before you flowered or after, in June or August, just once or whether
you'd bloom again.
You were the bustling, loud relatives of the family I had just adopted into.
Opinionated, colorful, and unknown.
I've spent the years wading through the crowd, stopping to talk with each,
gathering beloved recipes, learning
who sits next to whom at dinner,
who takes charge of conversation,
who sweeps bad news out the door.
I know the way your scalp smells when you bend down to kiss my cheek,
the soft clasp of your hand around mine.
You have become my family.
And now here I sit, cozy in my corner chair,
thumbing through the catalog,
making notes,
preparing for next year's gathering.
-- Amanda Midkiff, Jan 2021
How are you doing, truly?
Have you found moments to decompress from the news? Have you been taking winter walks or baths or naps? Have you been sipping coffee, chai, or nettle tea?
We are undeniably in a period of major transition in our society and culture. With each new wave, we experience, process, and rest. These transitions are mirrored in the major changes I see in the lives of those around me -- so many people are using this time to break down old structures and build a new foundation of life for themselves. As we transform our individual lives, our society is transformed. As our society is transformed, our individual lives are affected and change, too. We are all acting and being acted upon in the cycle of creation and destruction, the ever-outward expansion of the Universe as it seeks to know itself more.
All this creation and destruction takes energy. So please -- rest.
Rest like it's your part-time job. Rest heavily onto couch cushions. Rest deeply beneath woolen blankets. Rest lusciously in a rosewater-cardamon bath. Rest in the escapism of an herbal mystery novel, Bridgerton, or a jigsaw puzzle. Rest in fantasies of your future life, built from your Winter Solstice intentions. Rest in the central core of your Being, the Truths of you that never change, the parts that are Essential.
As for me? You bet I'm resting. Forget part-time job, I'm resting like it's the salaried position I was promoted to just after Thanksgiving. I'm resting with brisk woodland walks, morning maté in bed with John, bingeing crossword puzzles and cuddling the cat more than any cat has ever been cuddled.
I'm resting by reflecting on the incredible things that have happened this past year, the ways that life has gone on despite the whole world seemingly brought to a halt.
Here are a few:
In January I hosted the "ReNew Year Retreat" which was so wonderful that it turned into a yearlong program that we were able to do outdoors -- it was one of only two on-farm programs that were able to continue, and it really got all of us through the year.
In February I went to Ecuador to study with Rocio Alarcón, and learned an energetic technique of healing with hummingbirds.
In March, right as the pandemic was taking hold, my mom received a new heart. So many of you reached out to send her well-wishes and healing energies, which not only reminded me that the LL community is AMAZING but also all your energy and good vibes certainly worked, and I'm pleased to say that my mom is doing extremely well.
In April, Niñita, a 13-year-old cat, came to live with us. She has brought so much love and silliness into our home. I have truly expanded as a person through my love of this cat, which is shocking to those who've known that I'd been unreasonably (and intensely) anti-pet for about 15 years. Lots of healing of childhood pet-baggage took place this spring.
In May, the Herbal Homestead Apprenticeship allowed early summer to be a time of great joy for me, rather than a time of stress at all the garden work that needed to be done. Working with friends in the garden this year has been indescribably wonderful, even more-so because it was my primary source of social time, and I'm as extroverted as the sun in late July.
In June I began working with Kendra to film my online classes. This has not only increased the quality of my online classes by a zillion-fold, but it has given me one of the things I've missed most as a business-owner: a co-worker, co-creator, and co-consumer of lunchtime bagel sandwiches. Kendra is also amazing at taking glamor shots of all my plant friends, which makes my heart bloom like a rose on Beltane.
In July, my cousin and her child survived a child birth that quite nearly had a different result. Both are well, and I'm continuously grateful. Also in July, I re-discovered the library, which has allowed me to spend the year devouring China Bayles mystery novels. I highly recommend both the library and China Bayles mystery novels.
In August I completed David Winston's Two-Year Herbal Training Program. I now feel fully prepared to offer herbal consultations, which I will begin doing as soon as I get all the logistics organized. I would have done it sooner, but I've been so busy hibernating... keep an eye out ;)
In September it occurred to me -- for the first time -- that nearly all of the work I do is creative work, and that I need to establish boundaries to protect my creative energy. This was a major nugget of wisdom from this year for me. Sometimes the most helpful nuggets are dazzlingly obvious in retrospect.
In October, John and I were able to escape to the Catskills for a weekend to sing sea shanties and hike to mushroom knolls and journal on mossy banks and soak in a hot tub beneath the waxing moon. It was exquisite, and one of the most delightful bits of life I've experienced thus far.
In November I finally began writing every day. Amazing. I also bought holiday gifts with ease (both financial and idea-wise), and I realized that my business truly had a successful year, amid all this craziness. My weird, small business has been resilient and withstood the rapid changes. I am both grateful for and proud of this.
In December, on my birthday, John and I became engaged. We spent the rest of the month deeply cocooned in our coziness, hibernating even more intensely than last year, drinking even more coffee and eating even more cinnamon buns, celebrating the beautiful life we've made together and crafting plans for the future.
When you look at it that way, 2020 was a pretty incredible year.
Of course, most of the incredible-ness has sprung from the wellspring of love that is the Locust Light community. LL is a living entity that I am both continuously creating and being created by; it is forming me even as I form it. LL is not just the business that supports my life and my daily reishi chai habit -- it is the source of so much friendship, community, and satisfying collaboration. I am deeply grateful for your presence here.
After all this reflection, I have a few updates for you.
I am going to nearly-completely stop using Instagram. I have loved the way it helps me to connect with you, but it is undeniably a huge drain of my creative energy and my focus. Beginning in February, I will be posting episodes of The Locust Light Show to IGTV, and that's it. No more stories, messaging, or other posts.
Instead, I'm going to be using email to communicate in a much richer way with you. I'll use it not just for updates about offerings and events, but to chat and stay in touch much like I would have on IG. Don't worry -- this doesn't mean I'll suddenly be emailing you every day. But it does mean you'll see emails from me more consistently, and they might be longer, like this one is. And for those of who you are worried about missing silly Niñita pictures -- she'll be making appearances in The Locust Light Show. And I can always add some in the emails ;)
I will also be re-starting (and continuing) the herbal Choose-Your-Own adventure email series. Keep an eye out for an announcement about that.
And I'll be releasing episodes of The Locust Light Show twice a month. I'm thrilled about this. The Imbolc episode will be coming out soon (and yes, Niñita is in it). I'll send episodes out to you via email and post them to my blog, but if you want to be sure to see them, follow our channel here.
You're also going to hear from me very soon about a magical herbal book I'm writing with a friend -- and how to stay up-to-date on our progress.
A new show, a new book, an herbal fiction email series -- all these exciting creative projects will be fostered by the creative boundaries I'm setting (e.g. not using Instagram). It's time for me to dive into my mind and bring you the most exquisite, intriguing plant stories I possibly can.
So my friend, that's what I've been up to this winter. Resting, reflecting, and sketching out plans for the new year. What are you working on? How are you doing? What boundaries are you putting in place to ensure that your Intentions can unfold?
With a soft swaddle of blankets and the heart-rush of an engaging story,
Amanda
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